In the last edition of noteworthy, I talked all about putting yourself out there—how it’s so important to keep putting yourself out there as a writer and creative. Without putting yourself out there, after all, you’re never going to see what might happen. You’ll miss out on potential opportunities that could fulfill all your hopes and dreams.
But putting yourself out there means that you’ll get rejected. We all know that, but it’s a lot harder when it actually happens. So I guess this is a part two about what comes next when putting yourself out there doesn’t work out.
And let me tell you, I’m feeling it right now.
I don’t exactly know how to handle rejection. I like to think that most of the time I just let it roll right off my shoulders after being sad for a moment. But this week, I’m having a hard time shaking my most recent rejection. Just yesterday, I received a rejection from my dream publisher, and it’s left me a little bit shaken, I’m not going to lie.
So what do you do to get over those painful rejections?
You know, the ones that ruin your day and threaten to destroy your week. That make you question whether what you’re doing is worthwhile. That make your dreams seem even further out of reach than they were a few days, or moments, before.
I don’t really have the answers, I’m figuring this out along with you, and it’s rough!
When I got my bad news yesterday in the form of a rejection email from one of my dream publishers, I will admit that I let it ruin my day just a little bit. I woke up to the email, so I started my day off with rejection. But there are a few things I did to keep myself from wallowing in the rejection too much (although clearly I still am wallowing a little bit since it’s still on my mind today.)
Here are things that I know help when facing a rejection:
Share your feelings with a friend.
Even better if it’s a writing friend who can relate to the feelings that come with rejection! I texted one of my best friends who is also a writer and who has been with me on every part of this journey (in fact, she was the first person I shared page one of this book with back when I started writing it in 2020.) Sharing your feelings with a friend is helpful because they not only understand what you’re feeling but can encourage you to keep going, even in the face of some not-so-great news.
Dwell on the positives (if you can.)
Not every rejection comes with positive encouragement, and some don’t even come with a reason, but if you do happen to get even a tiny morsel of encouragement from the agent/editor who rejected your work, dwell on that part of the rejection rather than the rejection as a whole. For me, that means clinging to the fact that the publisher told me my work was too similar to some other projects they are currently working on. While that stinks for me because it ultimately meant a rejection, it also means that they didn’t hate my writing style or premise—it was just too similar to some other books in the works. To some, that might be a negative, but I’m going to choose to see it as a positive.
Move on to what’s next.
While my goals for this book have shifted in the past year or so, I’m not giving up on it—at least not yet. There are other publishers who might be a great fit for this book, so I’m going to start focusing on the next submission (and then the next, and then the next.) The beauty of trying to make it in the writing world today is that there are so many options. So now I can move on to other presses and publishers, or even choose to self-publish if that’s what ultimately feels right. Whatever your situation, there are likely new steps you can take once one path comes to a dead-end, whether that’s revising some more, submitting somewhere else, or choosing to move on to the next project altogether.
Rejection is hard, so how do you get over it?
There’s no one right answer, but there are a lot of tips and tricks that can help all of us writers and creatives keep going. It might take a lot of rejection to get to that final “yes,” and if we don’t learn how to get over even the biggest of rejections, we might never find our own personal happy ending.
Here are the places my words have ended up since I last wrote:
Spending Money on Your Writing Isn’t Always a Bad Thing published in The Writing Cooperative
Precious Coral republished on my blog
March: a Curation Story* republished on my blog
Waning Gibbous republished on my blog
The Simple Thing That Cured My Anxiety-Induced Insomnia republished on my blog
I’m currently reading Dark Angels by Karleen Koen, a historical romance novel centering around Louis XIV’s reign in France and Charles II’s reign in England. It’s a prequel to Koen’s novels Now Face to Face and Through a Glass Darkly. I purchased all three books from a used book store and am now eagerly getting into the series (although it’s not officially classified as a series.) The novel is intriguing so far, although I am just now starting to get into the meat of the plot.
A little different this week, but I wanted to mention my latest music obsession. I am a big music person, and I find that listening to music does help inspire me to write, so I think I’m going to start including music here from time to time. I’ve been a fan of Florence and the Machine since I was in high school, and have had the singles from her new album, Dance Fever, on repeat since they were released a couple of weeks ago. I even bought my ticket to see Florence live in October, and I’m so excited! Her unique sound and thought-provoking lyrics always have a way of sticking with me. One of her new singles, “My Love,” is particularly relatable to me as a writer since she sings about writer’s block and struggling to create during the pandemic. I’d highly recommend a listen if you are looking for some musical inspiration.