Remember how in the last newsletter I was lamenting the difficulties of rejection, and pondering how to handle a particularly devastating rejection from my dream publisher?
The writing world can be fickle, I tell you—the very next week I received word that I am moving on to the next round for another submission with a different publisher. Today, in fact, I learned that I am one of only forty out of two hundred fifty submissions that are moving forward.
Trying to make it as a writer is like riding a rollercoaster—one minute you’re down, but you only need to wait a few seconds before you’re up again.
It’s moments like these, where I am devastated one day and riding high the next, that I remember a particularly useful reframing of the submissions process I’ve heard time and time again. I may have even mentioned it here because it has helped me so much over the years (and helps me get over the hurdle of clicking “submit” every time I become anxious to do so.) The reframing is this:
Aim for rejections, don’t aim for acceptances.
This might seem silly, but it works. I suppose it’s a form of reverse psychology, except it’s used to help yourself, not to convince someone else to give you what you want.
One of the best descriptions of this process is on the #MomsWritersClub YouTube channel (which is run by Jessica Payne and Sara Read, by the way, who are both going to be guests on borrowed solace: the podcast next week!) In their video, Jessica and Sara explain why they aim for 100 rejections a year.
The basic idea is that if you aim for rejections rather than acceptances, it lowers the stakes a bit. It also forces you to keep putting yourself out there (yes, we’re talking about that again!)
I try to keep this in mind when I’m submitting. I don’t think I’m anywhere close to 100 rejections yet this year (although if we count all the non-answers to my queries, then I might be creeping up there), but I do tend to talk myself down from a figurative cliff of submission anxiety by framing every submission as a rejection. It’s so hard clicking the “Submit” button or finally pressing “Send” on that email, so looking at it as a way to earn yourself another rejection helps.
You could, indeed, end up with a rejection like I did a couple of weeks ago, or you could end up with some good news for once like with my most recent submission response!
So if you’re getting tired of the constant ups and downs of riding the writing rollercoaster, try reframing your process as one with a more even keel:
If you aim for rejections, those rare acceptances are going to be utterly magical.
And those acceptances will help you enjoy the views as you summit amazing highs on the writing journey, and help you stomach the unhappy outcomes when rejection keeps you down low.
Here are the places my words have ended up since I last wrote:
I’m Not the Only One republished on my blog
A bit of a different recommendation this time around, but I’ve been reading Ask a Manager a bit more than usual as of late. I’ve been contemplating a career switch with my day job (if only I could write full time…), and this fun advice blog run by Alison Green is always entertaining.
I’m going to stick with the last newsletter’s theme and write about music once more! I’m still just as obsessed with Florence & the Machine’s new singles, but I’ve also added Lizzy McAlpine to the rotation. Her new album, five seconds flat, is the perfect mellow and moody writing soundtrack, if you ask me.